This question is one that many couples face on a regular basis when things are not going as well as expected in the relationship. Here are some other questions to consider if you find yourself in a place where you are asking this question.
What in your opinion has brought you to this place?
It would be helpful to carefully consider the journey from having a relationship that brought you joy and satisfaction to one where you are questioning whether or not you want to stay or leave. If during your reflection you find yourself only blaming the other person or identifying what the other person does in the relationship consider the fact that you can only address what is in your control. Consider that there are some things that you might be doing that are negatively impacting the relationship. Are there things that you can change?
What are my values?
Your personal values about commitments are important to consider. A commitment made before God and a community of close friends and family is significant. When making the decision to break the commitment, one must consider the message being sent. Is the message consistent with the person that you value yourself tobe?
What will be my legacy?
Consider the circles that would be impacted by your decision to stay or to leave. Are there children involved? What about the extended families on either side? Consider the pros and cons of short term relief versus long term gain. Your decision leaves an impact on yourself and others that would affect you socially, financially and generationally for starters.
If you are a person of faith.
Although there is the statement: “God hates divorce”, God does not hate the person, just the action. Whatever the decision that is made, commit your thoughts feelings and concerns to prayer.
If there is domestic violence.
If you are in a situation where you are being or have been assaulted and/or if there is a safety concern the best decision would be to find yourself in a safe place, even if it means leaving the relationship.
Regardless of the decision, leaving a relationship would be one of change and would therefore be stressful, even if you are the one making the decision to leave. It would be helpful to consider having as much support as you can if you find yourself in such a situation. Also, making sure that you take care of yourself, and continuing in regular routines as much as possible would be a helpful stabilizing experience. As you know, the decision is yours to make and no one can make that decision for you. However, whatever you decide, if you find yourself in this type of place, don’t do the journey alone; help is available.